masks

I've been in college for almost 2 years now. I've had my share of good times, bad times, fun times, sad times, and any other times you could imagine, so I think I could relate to almost any college student and their collegiate experience. I have lots of friends, and I love hanging out with all of them, don't get me wrong, but Sometimes, I find myself wondering if anyone really knows exactly who I am. I think I'm good at blending in and only when I feel comfortable around people do I really want to stand out. I remember my freshman year, everyday for the first few months I would straighten my hair before classes (this was ridiculously unlike me). Only after my first semester did I stop caring so much about fitting in, but even now, I still find myself succumbing to image of the SMU girl. My lack of connection with people here I think is hard for me- especially- to adapt. My connections with people have always been the root of my confidence and its absence has proved to be harmful. Its better now don't get me wrong but hear me out. Its hard to hang out with someone or a group of people when your faking it the whole time. You don't feel good about yourself afterwards either. I'm discovering now that that saying 'just be yourself' isn't just a silly saying that kids learn when they're younger. Its a quote to live by.