excellence

Twice a week, for close to six months, my roommate and I drive 45 minutes outside of Dallas to tutor high school students. Primarily an organization promoting mentorship, Group Excellence and the students I have met through this tutoring program have changed my perspectives on many things.
My first few days as a tutor were interesting. Carter High School was unlike any school I had ever stepped foot in. Having attended a public high-school, I initially thought tutoring in one would be a breeze. I was mistaken. My roommate and I were, and continue to be, the only two white people in what seems like the entire school district. One of only two white people in the immediate area, at first I was surprisingly intimidated. For the first time in my life I had become the minority in a primarily Black community. Over time though, this feeling has changed. No longer am I intimidated. Instead, I find myself overwhelmed with a desire to help these kids. The more I get to know each of them, the more a learn about their situations, and the more I yearn to help. Stories of shootings, drugs, pregnancies, and deaths continue to open my eyes to the environment in which these kids are growing up. Crime is a norm; Gangs are a source of protection; and this isn't a movie. This is life as they know it, and sometimes I don't think they know there is a way out. Just today a 14- year- old student I work with told me he just found out his girlfriend was pregnant. He hasn't told his parents, she hasn't told hers, but they're keeping it. The other week another boy I was working with told me he had just recently been at a teen club with his sister for a birthday party. Two older boys ran in and pulled a gun on the boy throwing the party. They shot him in the head because he was a part of a rival gang. Closer to the beginning of the year I got to know a 16-year-old girl. She was pregnant with her second child. In every way I want to help these kids so badly. I want them to trust me and talk to me. But I feel like there's only so much I can do.